Tamed Only By Lonliness
by Frowny Faced Doom
Summary: ZeTobi yaoi Aah, my soul is just as icy as you. I'm returning to life in your fingers..... Discontinued
1. Found

I don't own Naruto… stuff will be explained at the end of this chapter.

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Was he dead?

No, he wasn't. Although I had no idea why. His entire left side was crushed. And he was missing an eye, like someone had surgically removed it a few hours earlier. I crouched down and tilted his pale face towards me. He was _very_ young, thirteen at most. I noticed his hitai-ite a few feet away from us. From the look of the tattered thing, it looked like he was from Konohagakure. I was perplexed. Why did his comrades leave him for dead? He knew about the healing Sannin, Tsunade, so why didn't they just go to her to at least try to heal him? I sighed as my other side spoke.

"Want to eat him?" My darker half sounded like a starving dog.

I growled at him. "No…" He knew as much as I did that the kid was from the Uchiha clan. The boy had fallen unconscious with his only eye open. Pein would be angry with us if we just left him for dead, we needed three Uchihas to seal the damned Kyuubi.

How was I supposed to keep him alive? His heart somehow survived the impact, but it looked like he hit his head pretty hard. I wouldn't be surprised if he had brain damage. I let out another sigh as I reached out and placed my hands on the boy's chest. My black and my white hand emitted chakra out and started to heal him.

All his major injuries, excluding his crushed body, were healed. I brought out my walkie-talkie and waited for a signal.

"What is it?" Sasori's stoic voice answered me.

"Have you ever repaired a human's body with puppet parts?" I asked curiously.

"Yes, arms and legs usually. I once had to replace someone's spine… which was difficult… why?" I could hear the suspiciousness in his voice.

My darker half smirked. "Ready for a challenge?"

"Doushite?" He insisted again.

I wanted to slap my other half, but that would literally hurt me as much as him. "Well…" I started.

_**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**_

"May I come in?" I knocked on the door.  
"Get off your wooden ass already!" My darker half barked impatiently.

"Shut up." I growled.

Sasori's voice was muffled from the door between us. "Hai."

I stepped into the puppet specialist's room. There was puppet parts and tools scattered everywhere. And… was that blood?

"Finished." The redhead said evenly as he glanced over to me. I looked over to where the three figures, Kakuzu, Orochimaru and Sasori, were standing. I floated over to see their finished project.

The boy had his body repaired completely. I was guessing that Orochimaru had supplied the inner organs and both Kakuzu and Sasori had made the left half of the boy's body. There were many scars on his small figure –and a very long one that reached from his collar bone all the way down to his groined, damn did they make the false half look real- but other than that, he looked normal enough. If you ignored the long and nasty looking scars, the joints that were clearly puppet-looking, and missing eye, he was like any normal thirteen year old boy.

"Good work." I nodded towards the three.

"Zetsu, it took us a month to make the body, and three weeks to plan out how we wouldn't kill him when we put him together. Not to mention how much money we spent… and all you have to say is _good work_?" Kakuzu growled.

I sighed. "Don't worry about the money; I'll make up for it. And I'll make sure that Leader-sama gives you all a raise for doing this… he should be thrilled that we have our first Uchiha." I explained yet again to the money-crazed zombie twin.

"That was an interesting challenge, Zetsu-san." The snake-like voice of Orochimaru said from the left of me. I was amazed that he even agreed to help, but knowing him and his experiments, I shouldn't of been all that surprised. He gave a smirk as he walked out of the room silently. Kakuzu growled angrily as he turned on his heel and stormed out of the room after Orochimaru, going to complain, or maybe even yell, at Pein. I rolled my eyes and turned back to Sasori. "I'll help clean up…" I offered since I couldn't help before.

Sasori shook his redhead, "No need. Just take him with you. He will need a sensei after all."

I blinked at him. "Sensei?" My darker half asked, dumbfound. Sasori nodded as he picked up the young boy and passed him over to me. Without another word, he waved me out of the room.

"Huh…" I stared at the boy's face in my arms. "I guess I'm your new sensei, kid."

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AN: As you see, it's in the good half of Zetsu's POV. And as you can tell, it's Tobi-kun who is the kid. YES I AM IMPLYING OBITOBI! I don't care if it isn't true; I just thought it would be interesting if someone made a fanfic on how Zetsu found Tobi and whatnot. I haven't seen one… I bet it's done already.

Anywho… I don't care:

if the Akatsuki wasn't actually formed when Zetsu found Tobi

if Orochimaru/Sasori/Kakuzu was in it at the time

if Tobi is Madara and not Obito

if Tobi is Tobi

if anyone is OOC (I'll try my best)

if I decide to make Itachi come in the story when he wasn't even born when Obito OR Madara was 13 (I WILL make a few years pass LATER so it makes more sense before Itachi comes in)

if Tobi's body isn't really like that even if he IS Obito

So ha.

I think the lyrics fit into the story quite well.

**Playlist:**

'_Baragoku Otome'_


	2. Aid

A/N: I don't own any of the Naruto characters. Only the plotline of this fanfiction alone.

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"Zetsu-sama!" He wailed.

I chuckled to myself as I grabbed his flailing arm, preventing him from falling over. I was watching curiously as he tried to function with his new body. I assigned that task as his first… assignment.

Tobi sighed. Though it was clearly obvious that the boy was frustrated, he never did complain. I found the young shinobi intriguing; a normal boy his age would surely be complaining that it was 'too hard' or 'impossible'.

Obviously, Tobi wasn't a normal boy, period.

"Zetsu-sama," he paused, "Could you repeat how a puppet master moves his puppets around?" He asked for the seventh time.

I wasn't irritated, I couldn't be. The poor kid went through enough already; he didn't need his sensei barking at him.

"They use chakra strings, but it takes them months of training to master one puppet perfectly."

Tobi thought long a hard. He placed his gloved hand under his scarred chin as his eyes were downcast.

As he was doing this, I replayed a memory through my mind.

(A/N: All flashbacks will be in third person)

"_Who are you?" The young boy asked frantically, trying his hardest to crawl away from the plant Nin. He found that job quite difficult, as he could only use an arm, a leg, and his neck and head. "Why can't I move?"_

_Zetsu's darker half raised a questioning eyebrow at the boy's behavior. His softer half smiled warmly and placed a light colored hand on his fake shoulder._

"_Don't worry. All I want to know right now is: How are you feeling, if you need any food or water, what happened to you and why you were left for dead." The sweeter side answered._

_The boy grimaced at the word 'death'. He pondered over what he should tell the plant man, but knew lying wouldn't help. So, he decided the truth was best._

"_I… I… I don't know," He bit his small lip nervously; "I can't remember anything." The young shinobi admitted._

_This time, both personalities raised their eyebrows. "Nothing? How about your name?"_

_He shook his head. "Not even that."_

_Zetsu was stumped. "What _do_ you remember?" The darker side prompted._

"_I'm a ninja…" The boy shrugged._

_The plant ninja sighed. How troublesome. "Okay, you are at the Akatsuki's recent hideout. I had some of the members make you a new body. No matter if you remember your past, name and whatnot, you are now my subordinate. Understand?" The more sinister personality demanded._

_The boy thought this over. He didn't have that much of a choice, and he was very grateful that he could, apparently, live longer. He was in debt to Zetsu, and these so called 'members.'_

"_Hai, I understand. May I ask for your name?" The boy asked curiously._

"_Zetsu." Both halves said in unison. "What should we call you?"_

_For what seemed the millionth time today, the boy thought about the question. "Tobi… call me Tobi."_

(A/N: BACK TO PRESENT… er… you know, WHICH IS A WEEK AFTER THE TIMING OF THE FLASHBACK)

"I got it!" Tobi exclaimed eagerly. If not for his inability to use his left arm, he would of clapped repeatedly. I raised an eyebrow at him.

"Please help me up, Zetsu-sama." He asked politely. I obeyed, grabbing his elbow and lifted him up, though he did most of the work with his right leg. Once I let go of his elbow, he immediately closed his eyes. I waited.

Chakra came from his left foot brightly. I went slightly wide eyed as it shone blue. We obviously had to work with chakra control, he was using WAY too much.

Then he stepped forward with his left foot, successfully. He grinned widely, it looked like his cheeks hurt. He began to walk clumsily, but it was walking none-the-less. His left hand was also glowing blue as he reached out towards me. He looked so proud, as happy as his hand was just inches away from my coat. He gave a pleased laugh.

Suddenly, his hand and foot stopped glowing and he fell forward, into me. I easily caught him and watched his face fall from disappointment.

"I messed up." He said, his voice laced with sadness.

I couldn't help but pat his disheveled head. "Don't be sad, you did well. Very well." I didn't understand why I was comforting him, but it just seemed like it was needed.

"Bad people are the people who screw up…" The boy muttered to himself, he looked like he was close to tears. I wonder who told him that, it was such a stupid sounding theory.

"Tobi isn't bad… Tobi is a good boy." I said with a chuckle. His face brightened up.

"Tobi's a good boy?" He questioned, trying to resist a large grin from forming on his pale face. He lost.

Even my darker side smiled, -but he could have been smirking. I couldn't see after all, all I could feel was a tugging at the corners of my mouth- "Yes."

Tobi's small, thin, right arm wrapped around me tightly, bringing me into a hug. He let his left arm hang limply by his side, his sadness already forgotten. I was shocked by the sudden contact. All I did was stand there, dumbfound. He looked up at me again.

"Arigato gozaimasu, Zetsu-sama!" He said happily, rubbing his cheek against my cloak. He then let me go; turning around to the direction of cabin he had near the hideout. His whole leg started to glow again as he walked awkwardly toward it.

I blinked at him for a few moments, not use to being hugged. I haven't been hugged by anyone for years, even when my parents were alive. They wouldn't even go near me.

He was already at the door before I realized he was talking.

"Bye Zetsu-sama!" He waved his left arm dramatically, hoping that I could see it better. I gave a small wave back as I walked back into the hideout.

I was going to take a shower, right before Sasori stopped me.

"If he's going to train properly, he is going to have to find a new way of moving around." The short redhead informed me. He must have been watching us.

I nodded, "Yeah, he would waste too much chakra moving around like that… but I do have to admit, it was clever of him to think of that."

Sasori agreed with me, but abruptly walked away. He was such an odd character, I didn't know him well enough to judge him, but he seemed pretty unusual.

But that was coming from _me_.

I wasn't going to up and crush Tobi's spirits by telling him he needed a new way to move around. I would watch him for a while before suggesting something easier and more productive.

I sighed, this was already getting complicated.

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**(Few weeks later)**

I found myself getting more attached the hyper boy. I've seen him fight, he is actually pretty good considering what he needs to use most of his chakra for.

I was glad that I was great in Taijutsu, and that he had a Sharingan, which apparently, he used well.

I also found out if he landed a punch on you with his left hand, he could send you flying. Using chakra and the simple fact that whatever material that his left side was made out of was hard, he hit very hard punches and very, very hard kicks.

Over the few small weeks we shared together, he was moving around like a normal person. I taught him how to control his chakra better, and how to hide it, so his arm and leg wasn't glowing anymore.

All-in-all, it was a very pleasant number of weeks. Tobi made everyone in our gloomy organization more upbeat. Kisame's booming laugh was something that had become common around there. Hidan was happy that someone thought his religion was –in Tobi's words- awesome. Sometimes, Tobi would join in on a non-violent –which was rare- prayer.

Pein seemed to smile now and again, and wasn't always yelling at us. We all were glad about that.

Konan acted quite sisterly towards Tobi. It was a strange sight to watch the two converse. She usually smiled warmly and patted his head. He would shoot her grins and showed obvious adoration towards the blue headed girl. I think I heard Tobi calling her 'onee-chan' once. And I was positive she called him 'otouto' at least two times.

A knock on my door cut into my thoughts. I got up from my bed and sauntered over to the door. When I opened it, I had to adjust to the light coming from the hallway. I blink a few times before I looked down.

"Zetsu-sama…" Tobi's voice reached my ears.

I stared at his face for a moment and I froze. He looked freaked out. I knew he had nightmares, he usually told me about them.

But none were bad enough to basically sneak into the hideout –which was amazing because he seemed to have not woken up anyone- and seek my aid.

"B-boulders…" He stuttered as I impulsively pulled him inside and closed the door. It was dark again, I could barely make out his features, but his fear rolled off of him so much that I could practically taste it.

"It hurt… my eye was… I-I-I..." I had never seen anyone be so terrified of a dream in my life. Tobi wasn't even making full sentences anymore. I had to do something; something was tugging at my heart as I watched him. His expression haunted me.

I crawled back into my bed, sitting up so the wall supported my back and I beckoned him over. I could hear his hurried footsteps as he climbed onto the bed and rested his head in my lap. He was quivering. On instinct alone, I began stroking his spiky head, and was singing him a soft lullaby.

"_Without my prayers delivered no matter how I pray,  
The murmuring voice disappears in the cicada-sounding shower._

"_The signal of the opening echoes again; I dance the repetition helplessly,  
A story that composes this world; the finale is only for you."_

He had his hand on my shin. I could feel his grip on my pants leg loosen, the lullaby clearly soothing him. He stopped whimpering as I felt his entire body relax.

"_Even if there aren't many futures remaining anymore,  
I want to protect the precious things to the end.  
For that, even the act of defying god-  
I'll commit sins unhesitatingly and untiringly."_

His breathing evened out. I could hear a faint snore between each verse I sung. Even though I knew he was asleep, I kept stroking his hair as I finished the lullaby.

"_Let's start it again,  
So that I can surely hope for a happy ending this time.  
And at least smile tenderly all the while,  
Until the moment of the end."_

I sat still for a moment_. This was quite comfortable,_ I thought, ignoring the fact that the wall was cold against my covered back. My actions and thoughts were strange and unexplainable. It wasn't before long when my eyelids drooped over my eyes and I fell into a dreamless sleep. Tobi would be safe now. Not even his dreams could hurt him. I would make sure of it.

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A/N: Sorry if the chapter doesn't make sense. It's 1:24AM here, and I'm quite tired from going to the mall (MANGAS!) with my friends. I MIGHT fix it tomorrow…. Maybe.

Enjoy.

**Playlist:**

Little by Little – Naruto Shippuuden Ending 3

Dear You –Hope- Higurashi No Naku Koro Ni song… also the lullaby Zetsu sung to Tobi.


	3. Assignment

I do not own Naruto

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My topaz eyes fluttered open. The room was blurry, so I rubbed my eyes to rid the sleepiness from them. I then blinked a few times, stretched and let my hands fall into my empty lap.

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Empty?

My eyes roamed around my room, searching for the bundle of energy. I almost missed the note on my desk.

I stood and stepped towards the small paper. I peered down at it curiously.

'_I went back to training. Already ate some breakfast. I didn't wake anyone up, a sure sign I'm sneakier! What do you think, Zetsu-sama?_

_Anyway, don't worry… _

- _Lurve, Tobi'_

I wondered if he purposely spelt 'love' wrong. With Tobi, it was hard to tell. I gave a loud yawn

"**You know, I bet he accidentally spelt it like that**." My sinister half snickered at his statement.

I rolled my eyes. "I'm sure he was just joking around." I didn't sound too sure.

I got dressed and pulled on my Akatsuki cloak. The thing was made of silk, so it was quite comfortable. I wondered how Pein talked Kakuzu into that.

I walked into the kitchen, spotting Pein, drinking coffee. I pulled out a box of Cheerios and poured some into a bowl I had gotten out. As I opened the fridge to grab the milk, I could feel a pair grey eyes watching me. I casually poured the milk into my bowl, set the milk aside and turned to Pein.

"**What**?" My darker side barked.

"May I ask what is wrong, Leader-sama?" I ask politely.

Pein smirked; I always seemed to amuse him. He took another sip of coffee as he stood from his position at the table. "Nothing." I blinked at him for a moment and watched him slink into the darkness of the hallway.

"**Weirdo**."

"Be nice." I commanded. I received a growl for an answer.

Pein suddenly appeared again, a folder in his hands.

"Here. It is a mission for you and Tobi-kun," Did he just add a suffix? "To do. Keep an eye on the boy…" He turned on his heel and walked out again.

The leader was acting strange that day, but I just shrugged it off. I walked out of the hideout, in search of Tobi. He would be _thrilled_.

"Watch me, Zetsu-sama!" A happy voice halted my search. I turned my head into the direction of the boy. He was walking on his hands with a giant grin on his face. "I'm strong!" He boasted before his right arm gave out and then fell onto the grass. He started laughing at himself.

I sighed with a ghost of a smile present on my features. "Tobi-kun, we have a mission."

The boy immediately jumped up and ran full speed towards me. He skidded to a halt, only an inch in front of me.

"What is it? Where are we supposed to go? Are we saving someone? Should pack up? Should I leave my plant behind? If I do, it might die. How tragic." He started to ramble.

I placed a finger to his pale mouth. "Calm down. First we'll read, then we will decide on what we should bring." I responded. A sheepish smile was painted onto his small face.

"Sorry." He watched as I opened it slowly. I could see him twitch a couple of times as I read the assignment. He couldn't keep still, could he?

My eyes scanned the paper thoroughly. It was pretty simple, but it would take a few days. I glanced at the flinching boy and smirked.

"We have to collect information and kill one of Leader-sama's ex-acquaintances in the Land of Waves. The man is hiding there at the moment. It's an easy B-rank mission." Tobi grinned widely at this.

"I'll go get some things!" He said wildly and started running in the wrong direction. I chuckled lightly as he took a 'U' turn and flew past me towards his home. I heard some crashing in the distance. In a matter of moments, he came back to me.

I blinked at him. "What's with the mask?" I asked with another blink.

"So people can't…. see me." He said shyly, his voice muffled by the bright orange mask that was adorned his small, pale face. I blinked again. Then, realization hit me. Gradually over the weeks, he had been hiding his left eye with his hair.

"Whatever you say…" I did my best to hide my disappointment. I didn't know what kind of expression I wore on my face.

He seemed fooled. "Alright, I'm ready! Let's go!" He flashed a smile at me… at least I thought he did.

I was already missing his grin.

_**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**_

I sighed.

That was six traps in under sixty five seconds. We should have congratulated our new record holder.

"Tobi… if we want to leave here alive, step where I step." I ordered the masked boy.

"Sorry Zetsu-sama!" He whispered, quickly dodging the exploding tag that detonated when he had leaned against the wall. I couldn't help but smile at his constant apologies.

Tobi was holding his disguise pretty well. His bangs were in the style of Orochimaru's, but the dark hair was up in a high ponytail. He had changed his eyes to an icy blue and his skin had an olive complexion.

For an airhead, he was pretty good with disguises.

I pushed my odd colored hair out of my face, only to have it fall back into its original position, which did a number on my eyesight. The short hairstyle I had sported was not one of my best ideas. The light blue hair obscured my vision so drastically, that I ran into walls if I wasn't squinting. The dark, red eyes that I used stood out strongly in contrast to my light skin and hair.

I, on the other hand, was horrible with disguises.

We were currently sneaking through the largest building in the Land of Waves, which was heavily booby trapped. They were quite obvious to an S-rank missing-nin, but to Tobi… they probably seemed S-rank.

"Where is this so called Usui-san?" Tobi asked curiously, staying focused on the task at hand, which was stepping exactly where I stepped and touching everything that I touched.

"He should be on the seventh floor. We are almost there. Be patient." I glanced back at him quickly, to see him shooting one of his trademark grins at me. It looked exactly the same as it would on his real face, but it didn't feel right. And it only disappointed me more when I knew this might be the closest thing I to his face that I will see in a long time.

"Zetsu-san, look out!"

I turned to look ahead of me, only to find myself smacking nose-first right into the chest of a tall, well-built man.

"**Who the hell are you**?" The other me asked irritably.

The man stared down at me, raising an eyebrow. "I should be asking you that." He shot back.

Tobi stood next to me. "Well, we were looking for Usui-sama. We have a message for him from one of his close friends. It's urgent. It would be really useful if you let us in. If you need ID, we got that. I wonder if you are going to ask us questions… please let us in." He babbled, "Please?"

I snorted silently. He was quicker than I was with an explanation. Sure, he left out a few things, but it was pretty good.

The man narrowed his eyes. "Who is it from exactly and what's it about exactly?"

I wracked my brain for an answer, trying to remember the name Pein told us to use if needed. "**Maro-sama.**" "He needs some shinobi to track down two missing-nins." I replied quickly. Thank god for a second personality that was good with names.

He was fooled. "Alright." He stepped to the side, letting us walk down the hallway and up to a worn down, wooden door.

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Wow… I'm sorry I took so long to update! DX Don't kill meeeee! (WTF? I upload faster than some people)

But it's short… and school is in the way. I JUST finished my freakin' English assignment. Woo. Hoo. –sarcasm-


	4. Trapped

Me: -grabs Zetsu to avoid flying fruits- SORRY! It's hard for me to write while school is in the way AND when I have the smallest attention span.. like… ever. It's easier to write the DeiTobi drabbles, since it isn't ONE specific story. –sigh-

Zetsu (white): -annoyed that he's getting pelted with tomatoes and such-

Zetsu (black): IT'S MY TURN TO NARRATE!

Tobi: Tobi is a good boy! Nyaha Mii doesn't own Naruto. LET'S GO MEEBO!

Me: ROGER

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I glance around, already deciding this place was freakin' ugly, and I walk in. I motion for the brat to follow me. He nods and is immediately at my side, trying his best not to look suspicious.

Ha. Fat chance.

I look around for the bastard we have to kill, only to be greeted with the 'wonderful' scene of a sleeping Usui. Oh god. Way too easy. I check for any other form of life (with chakra or not) and find none. I shrug, figuring it wasn't some sort of morbid trap and start heading my way over to Usui.

He is _supposed_ to be a ruthless leader who had shown no mercy to any. He should be hard to kill. He should be running around and falling on his ass while I beat the crap out of him. I'm kind of grateful though. I'm not really in the mood to play with my food.

I position a nice, sharp, needle in front of his throat, and am about to shove it in when I turn to see something so horrible, so evil, and sitting on his face.

Stupid bloody bird! Get the fuck off his nose! You'll wake him up!

"**Shoo**!" I hiss, waving my hand at the bird, only to get bitten. I yip in surprise, pulling my hand back to nurse it. As I open my mouth to bite the little shit's head off, a gloved hand covers my mouth.

Tobi stares at me with paranoia in his eyes. "Shhhh…" He hushes, pointing to Usui. My eyes dart over to the man who gave a large yawn, big stretch –he almost punched me in the nose! Bastard!- and went back to snoring loudly.

I glare at the bird, who gave me an innocent Squawk! And flew over to Tobi's shoulder. I sigh, and grab the needle, quickly jabbing it into Usui's neck. I covered his mouth as he _tried_ to give a scream and started to drown in the upcoming blood.

"Ew." Tobi comments. I roll my eyes at him and I grab his arm. The bird squawks again and flaps around the room. I swing my arms around to make the damn thing shut up, but he ends up flying out the window.

"**Let's go**." I growl. "Tobi, hold on to me and hold your breath. Close your eyes and concentrate on not moving, okay?" My dumb sweeter side says smoothly. Tobi nods, obediently doing what he was told. I make a quick hand sign and we start sinking into the ground. Tobi seems unfazed, since he isn't aware that we were doing this.

I am quick and precise at this jutsu. I've created it after all, it helps me spy. I keep my eyes open as we slide through the ground, squeezing our way up to the surface.

Both of us squeal –I didn't squeal! It was the other one! I swear!- when we feel the soft snow fall down our clothes as I finish the jutsu. Tobi opens his eyes and immediately starts jumping around. We revert to our respected appearances while doing so.

"Zetsu-sama! Why is it so cold? It was warm before!" He doesn't seem to like snow. Ha.

I grin evilly as I watch. "**Brat, it's because its winter and we are in the Village Hidden in the Snow.**"

Finally having enough of it, he jumps on my back. Today, I had decided my giant shield wasn't neccasary, so I kept it hidden under my skin. Thus, somehow making my body a target of piggy-back riding.

"Thanks for that…" I drawl.

The brat's oblivious. "You're welcome!"

My other half smiles while I frown. I wonder what that looks like… I knock Tobi off my back and start strutting off to find a nice shelter away from what looks like a growing mob. Good thing they don't know that we were their leader's murderers.

The brat, now soaking wet, follows me as we find a nice little cave.

"**No.**" I quickly say before Tobi suggests it. No way in hell am I sleeping in a disgusting cave.

_How come you thought it was nice a second ago?_ My sweeter half asks.

_**That was your thoughts! **_ I defend.

_Uh huh. Sure._ He sounds so convinced.

"Are we sleeping in the cave?" Tobi asks.

"Yes we are." My other half says.

"**Hell no!**" I insist.

"Yes we are. And that's final."

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Why?! Why was I the underdog when it came to arguing with my other personality? Oh how I cry…

Tobi is munching on some weird food he brought. I wonder how his organs work. I suppose since he _is_ human he needs food. My eyes trail over the boy, my curiosity growing more and more the second. He squirmed under my gaze. Heheh. That look was cute.

Oi! Get out of your daydream! The brat is talking!

"Sorry, say that again, Tobi." My polite, pompous ass side apologizes.

"I said, I'm cold. And I think we're snowed in."

"_**WHAT?!**_" I bellow as I turn to the opening of the cave. All I see is snow. And I just realized it was darker in here. I grab my walkie talkie.

"Yes?" The snake bastard purrs through the radio. How creepy.

"**Stop acting horny and tell Pein-sama that we'll be late.**"

"Orochimaru-san, please tell Leader Pein that we are in a bit of a predicament and our arrival will be delayed." Stupid prick! Stop being nice to him!

"Alright. Only because you asked nicely." He says sarcastically as he turns off the radio.

I roll my eyes and turn back to Tobi, who is cocking his head to the side and rubbing his arms in an attempt to warm himself up. I feel a pang of sympathy and I find myself crawling to his side. I'm surprised when I pull him close to my side with my arm wrapped around him.

"Eh? Zetsu-sama?"

_Aww… poor Tobi. He is so cold. He could catch a cold._

_**What about me not liking physical contact? No. Touchy.**_

_Come on, quite your mumbling, man!_

_**You don't listen to a freaking word I say…even if I told you to stop this; I'd just be wasting our breath.**_

_But he needs to be warmed up. He may freeze to death._

_**Would you please not ruin my day for once? Don't push your conscience on me. It really doesn't matter to me. **_

_What the hell did you say?!_

I shrug in response.

Tobi sighs, happy that he is getting some more warmth, but a little disbelieving, but more confused, with the contact. The only time he was ever this close to me was when he had that nightmare… why didn't I complain about that again?

Right… I was singing right along with the Pompous Ass. My mother had sung that to me, right before she decided to commit suicide. How ironic. The song was for me, which meant she wanted to protect me right? Yes, but then, instead of protecting me from the mobs of people who thought I was a hellborn monster, she kills herself. If she had to explain right now, she'd probably say it was to 'protect me'. Now that's a hyperbole if I haven't heard one.

"Zetsu-sama…. Why are you doing this?" He asks hesitantly.

"You were cold." "**So stop complaining.**"

"Weren't you cold?"

"**Ha! Real shinobi can handle a little bit of cold weather!**" "A bit, but you looked a little pale. I thought you needed warmth."

"But…"

"**Tobi, no. Keep your damn mouth shut**."

Tobi squeaks at the harshness and falls silent. After a few minutes, I suddenly hear quiet snores coming from beside me. I sigh. I poke him softly on the forhead, trying to wake him up. No response. I do it again. And again. And again. Getting fed up, I jab him harshly in the stomach, only to have him mumble something in his sleep.

"**Tobi! Wake up! I don't want you leaning on me like this!**" I still get no response. Dumb brat has changed my life for the worse.

"No, he's a good addition to our life…" The Pompous Ass pipes up.

I growl in disagreement when my newest mortal enemy appears on my knee. It chirps happily at Tobi and pokes me in the eye.

My life just got even worse.

"**Screw it, I give up.**"

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Obviously, it's in Dark!Zetsu's point of view. You can tell. :D

Dark!Zetsu speak (if it wasn't clear):

The Pompous Ass Light!Zetsu

The Brat Tobi

His new mortal enemy the bird

Dark!Zetsu is fun to write.

See youuuuuuu!

-KK 3


End file.
